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My Orchiectomy Journey Part III – Post Op

  October 10, 2023 It’s been two weeks since I had the procedure and I feel good. The procedure was scheduled for Friday and I got the call Thursday telling us to be at the hospital at 7:30 am. The procedure was to be done in the ambulatory surgery area of the hospital. My wife was coming with me for support and to drive me back home. The hospital is about a 45 minute drive, so we left at 6:30 and arrived in good time. The check-in procedure was very smooth and I was taken back in short order. I was seen by several people, the nurse coordinator, the OR nurse, a P.A., the anesthesiology residents and the anesthesiology attending. Finally the surgeon appeared and we discussed the procedure and made sure I still wanted to go through it. The anesthesiology resident started my IV and gave me some sedative and I got wheeled to the OR. I remember moving myself from the stretcher onto the table and that’s about it. I don’t have a strong memory of the early time in recovery. M...
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My Orchiectomy Journey Part II

  August 4, 2023 As I mentioned, I took a while to draft a letter supporting my position. I said: Dr. Xx, thank you for the thoughtful reply. I do appreciate your caution in taking on such a permanent procedure. I feel that I may not have presented myself in the best light at our recent appointment. As you know, I began this journey in April, 2021, over two years ago. At that time I began on the anti-androgen Spironolactone. I underwent the lengthy process of getting Cardiologist clearance and I was finally able to begin estrogen therapy in October, 2021. I have seen Dr. Yy on a regular basis since then I have put together a great team of doctors to help me through this phase of my life, Dr. Yy, Endocrinology, Dr. Zz, Internal Medicine, Dr. Ww, Cardiology, you as Surgeon, Dr. Hh, Dermatology to help me recover my hair, Dr. Pp, Psychiatry, and Dr. Tt, Psychology. They have all been incredibly compassionate and supportive. I have been consistent and devoted to my transi...
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My Orchiectomy Journey, Part I

  August 4, 2023 I finally broke through some gatekeeping. As I approach my 2d anniversary of hrt, I felt that the next step I would like to take on my journey would be an orchiectomy. I’ve wanted them gone for as long as I can remember. They never felt right. I haven’t socially transitioned yet for a myriad of reasons, but this is something I can do to further my transition without coming out to the world. I talked with my therapist and she supported the idea. At my next appointment with my endo, I talked to her and she also supported the idea. I spoke to my wife, I had mentioned the idea probably a year ago, and told her I was now ready. She has some reservations, mainly the usual risks of surgery. She is supportive, but still doesn’t fully understand the reality of being trans. She said she wants me to be happy and agreed to go with me to see the urologist. I am a patient with the Gender Clinic at a large University Hospital near me. They are great, but there is j...
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Good Mourning

  February 14, 2023 An online friend on Mastodon posted the following: Some cis people mourn who a person was when they transition. What they don't seem to grasp is that we mourn too. In much the same way you might mourn if you woke up to learn that you were in a coma for two or three decades. You're awake and alive, and existing now, but what of the life that would have been? @sasha_strange@tech.lgbt This is so important to understand. This topic usually comes up in the context of a parent mourning the loss of a son or daughter who is transitioning. The parent may feel that their son has died and have trouble recognizing their new daughter. This is a completely natural and understandable reaction. How the parent deals with it is the big issue. Does the parent deny the daughter? Does the parent welcome the daughter with joy and open arms? Does the parent have compassion for their child and help them through the transition, love and support them and think of ...
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To Be Or Not To Be

  February 4, 2023 Every human who has ever lived, that had a secret, had to decide whether to share that secret with the outside. This conundrum is not exclusive to LGBT+ people, but that is what I want to discuss. My personal experience is with the T part of that initialism. Coming out is a deeply personal decision and one that everyone must make for themselves. Add in the issue of transitioning and it becomes even more difficult. First a disclaimer, I would never make light of the struggle of the L, G, and B. Perhaps I am being naïve in this blog post. I have not had any of the experiences of a gay person coming out and living their authentic life. I do not know their struggle and I cannot know their actual journey and compare it to mine. There are many similarities, but I want to draw attention to one big difference. They can choose who they come out to, and they can generally walk in the world without drawing attention. They come out once to each person they choose...
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Who Am I

  February 1, 2023 One of the effects of growing up as a repressed and suppressed trans kid is a lack of confidence and identity. You never feel like you belong anywhere or to anything. You don’t know who you are. You never feel like you are entitled to anything. You’ve never earned an award. You give, but you feel you shouldn’t get. All these other kids seem to know who they are and what they want to do. They go through life with confidence, with a direction, with a plan, with a future. They knew how to relate to other kids. They weren’t afraid to be silly, stand out, show off, and have fun. They wanted attention, they wanted to be noticed, That idea was anathema to me. I was a shy kid, I could not, for the life of me, take the initiative in any social encounter. I still can’t. I wasn’t weird or off putting, just withdrawn and scared. In school when we had to pick a partner for a project, or pair off for something, I “knew” that no one would want to pair up with ...
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Trans Terminology

  January 24, 2023 While I am on this explanation kick, let’s get some terminology down. If I get anything wrong, or missed some important terms, let me know. Transgender : (Not “a transgender” or “transgendered”). Someone who is transgender feels that their gender identity does not match their assigned gender. They generally suffer emotionally from this, and it is referred to as dysphoria. CIS or Cisgender refers to someone who is not trans. “Cis” is a prefix from Latin meaning “on the same side”, which is the opposite of the prefix “trans”. Cisgender is someone who feels comfortable with their assigned gender. Assigned Gender is the gender you were given at birth, usually based on a cursory glance by the doctor or midwife, or whoever delivered you. AMAB means assigned male at birth. AFAB means assigned female at birth. Transsexual is an old, out of date term that was intended to refer to transgender people. It has a negative connotation to most peo...
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